It's Easy Addiction

Two reasons addictions are prevalent:
first our culture and families are not modeling addictive free behavior,
secondly addiction is easy.
Compare how easy it is to eat my favorite bunch of donuts to
accessing my hidden feelings.
Because accessing addiction is easy the consequences of
addictive behavior changes your personality. Since it has
been easy to feel pleasure, and you haven't worked to understand how to find pleasure by challenging yourself, by learning new behavior, by finding satisfaction in growth than that smug attitude will appear. You no longer need other people because you have your addiction or you need other people to vent your addiction.
The result is the same isolation and a descent into a destructive life.
Learning about yourself and how examining one's life is hard work. Yet built into your being is the ability to find pleasure by challenging yourself, by growing, by changing. Knowing the journey is difficult gives one empathy, compassion for all.

ThE Problems Are Many The Answer Is Simple

When the wind, orgone, in us rises to the surface I am reminded how simple life can be; like a kite moving, the wind in the sails.
Except for most of us the horror of childbirth blocks the flow moving
gracefully to the soft surfaces, and instead depresses the orgone and locks and freezes the movement producing a shield that Dr. Reich called armor. The orgone locks for many reasons: First not to feel or see the horror that produced the fear and secondly as a child it is the only form of protection available. Not only does your armor take up your energy it also shields the realization that your original needs will never be met. This instinct allows the child to survive.
Not experiencing one's environment begins a from of protection like waiting for the storm to pass before going out. Paradoxically that frozen diminished life also produces an anger that must be expressed in some way, or possibly worse the fear is expressed and ignored. Addiction is often the only way to release that held in anger. When the abuse continues with typical western birth practices, threatening potty training and on and on than the catastrophic problem is that we ultimately believe that this frozen state is normal. Later when your an adult the held in orgone will often unlock and you'll be inappropriate. Often our only answer in our search for answers is sadly addiction. The desire to feel alive, to feel the energy, to feel the orgone move in our body is so frustrated that addiction seems satisfying. The journey to realization is complicated and without the help of a Orgone Therapist tragic. Feeling satisfied and connected to our community is a journey worth taking.

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Armor

Armor is a term I throw around allot. Dr Reich used it to describe
The hardened musculature. The problem I had with understanding
how armor affected me was that armor for most of us begins
when your a baby. Armor happens instinctively. Simply one tightens one's
muscles to protect oneself. Armor gives a form of protection.
The armor becomes unconscious, and when I am unconscious (a blind denial)
I just don't believe armor ever happened. I didn't want to let go of the
constricted muscles because first off it was a habit, and secondly it allowed me to disappear.
Slow down the movement of energy in the body and not only are you out
of touch but also have too much energy centered in the mind. Dr.Reich
spent much of his life helping patients reestablish their energetic flow.
Orgone Therapy has methods which allows patients to make conscious their
armor.

Addictions are a substitute for different types of energetic release. Since addictions are not as pleasurable or as satisfying, why addictions? Because the ability to find a natural release, through letting go of the armor, has not been a model in our family or our culture.

Armor

I sit sweating in the humidity.
Now alone I read the coming attractions.
Playgrounds need sand, swings and screaming children.
When I left the nest there was panic, and work and
Sometimes love, sometimes fulfillment.
Love that glorious bird moved the armor
Than off for the winter.
The theater is empty, the chairs are stacked and
Heavy, the exit sign is burning.
The buzz is getting louder.
I am looking for the way out, the silent
Scream that stitches me closed.
The lion that lies within.

Try Out

I've been concentrating on writing a poetry cycle.
Basically four parts. It is based on Wilhelm Reichs
4 part cycle.

Here is a poem that might not
fit in.

The Orgone Way

When all my hopes and plans
Fall apart, and all my desires are
Crushed. When my body shrinks
My hands shake, my vision blurs,
No friends to be found, family becomes
Strangers, than I know I will take the
Time to say how fortunate I am.
Fuel for my rage, fuel for my anger,
Fuel for my grief. Fuel for becoming
One with the orgone.

When There Is No Love There Is Always Food

Like that title. Pretty much sums up my addiction. What's yours?
Oh got mine teasing me. Like to baby it but I do put food to sleep most of the time.
Tonight I'm planning an old favorite of Shrimp in a Boat. When I was a kid we went to Nathans
in Coney Island. Fried Shrimp with tartar sauce in initially paper boat (later plastic boat)
Sweet it was with plastic family on either side. Yes at times the family was paper but it was few and gnawed those times like that old bone. Food so primal. Eating fills me with pleasure. Survival allows me to seek other pleasures. Food so necessary for making my life better. I'm all for making life better. Turning the dark and light into better.
For me knowledge comes after feeling. Sometimes years. I'll be walking empty headed wondering what the next will bring and then I recognize that is what it meant. So I'm more patient these day thanking on one knee all my teachers for their shoulders. And what you know here is the flash. Wasn't even looking for this connection. So here is a poem I have always trouble with.

I rush to the rose garden.
Twilight and the view.
The music of the spheres is playing my
Song in sunset red.
The clouds of smoke form
A Blakeian man on one knee.
Looking up I
Wonder if I'm falling or getting
Up. Diamonds in the sky looking
Into my heart.
I am being called.
Not knowing If I
Passed or failed.
I stare with all my
Soul. Hours go by.
The next day I see the same
Figure in a gallery.
Years late I see the same figure on
The cover of a Book Of Job. Now the
Book Of Richard
The falling begins the rising.

Peepers

It's spring and the pond has
Overflowed. Listening to our
Slowing hearts, our eyes yours blue
Mine brown resting in each other.
Our daily day sharing the sounds,
The view of the huge tree framed by our window.

The Summer, touching tomato leaves,
The lawn being cut. Your smells.
You call me to the kitchen.
The great egret at the pond.
We watch it lift off.

The sun is rising in the fall.
The leaves are dropping and you are
Thrilled. The hot air balloon
Colored like a rainbow is ascending.
We're smiling in our home.

The winter awaits us.
It is dark. The snow covers
Us in shadows.
The spirit rises up.
The sounds of the Peepers returns.

That Awesome Fear

That storm we swallowed almost
Tore the armor off. A whales cry
I held. That white lightening
Began pleasurably. Those waves.
Transmitted by her eyes
Were words, caught
By my antennas and returned.
Then that awesome fear rising,
Stamped down. I found you
In the bathroom, by the window
By the ledge. Dante's Inferno
Pulling us in.
Manhattan at 3 A.M. was better than that.
The village filled with gays, transsexuals.
Cars circling staring.
Screams, fights, knives.
Taxi drivers, shaved head, not talking doing ninety.
The suction. The driver swerving.
The couple in the back praying.